What does the Bible say about breakups?
While the Bible does not give dating or breakup advice in any capacity, however, the Bible can offer guidance and comfort during these challenging times. In the aftermath of a relationship ending, it’s important to seek God’s solace and direction. Additionally, finding support in a Christian community remains essential for counsel, encouragement, and fellowship. Here is what we can learn from the Bible about handling breakups.
Christian quotes about breakups
“A heartbreak is a blessing from God. It’s just His way of letting you realize, He saved you from the wrong one.”
“When God gets us alone through suffering, heartbreak, temptation, disappointment, sickness, or by thwarted friendship – when He gets us absolutely alone, and we are totally speechless, unable to ask even one question, then He begins to teach us.” Oswald Chambers
How does God want us to handle breakups?
Breakups are emotionally challenging, leaving us feeling lost and uncertain. By aligning our actions with the Word of God, we can find comfort, healing, and a path forward. While the Bible does not address dating or courting specifically, we can seek guidance on how God wants us to handle breakups as Christians. Start by always seeking God’s counsel and comfort.
God wants to comfort and guide you through life as He has plans for you (Jeremiah 29:11). It is important to embrace forgiveness and extend grace to both our former partner and ourselves, recognizing that forgiveness is a cornerstone of faith. Alongside forgiveness, we should focus on personal growth, reflecting on the lessons learned and allowing God to shape us through this experience.
Surrounding yourself with a support system of trusted friends, family, and faith community (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10) can provide the necessary encouragement and guidance to help you through a breakup. By surrendering your pain to God and trusting in His plan, you can find hope and allow Him to heal your heart. Each person’s journey through a breakup is unique, which is why you need to spend time in prayer communicating your concerns with God.
Psalm 56:8 “You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”
Colossians 3:13 (NKJV) “bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”
Deuteronomy 4:7 “For what nation is great enough to have a god as near to them as the LORD our God is to us whenever we call on Him?”
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Proverbs 11:14 “Without guidance, a people will fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance.”
Here are some verses from scripture to help you through this troubling time:
After a breakup, it is important to release any negative emotions and extend grace to ourselves and others involved. By embracing forgiveness, you can open yourself up to healing and reconciliation.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”
Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Psalm 46:10 (NIV) “He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”
Psalm 109:16 “For he never thought to show kindness, but pursued the poor and needy and brokenhearted, even to their death.”
Psalm 46:11 (KJV) “The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.”
Psalm 46:1-3 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling.”
Psalm 109:16 “For he never thought to show kindness, but pursued the poor and needy and brokenhearted, even to their death.”
Psalm 6:2 “Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am frail; heal me, O LORD, for my bones are in agony.”
Psalm 107:20 “He sent forth His word and healed them; He rescued them from the Pit.”
Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Romans 8:31 “What then shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Romans 8:26 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.”
Isaiah 12:2 “See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The LORD God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory.”
Exodus 14:14 The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.
Psalm 73:26 “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
Sometimes God Calls Us to Walk Away
God often does not give us the answers we want, such as breaking up with a partner. While we may see the beauty of the relationship, God may see pitfalls as He has a full divine view of the relationship. Sometimes, the reason for a breakup is because God is working in your life. God’s calling to walk away from a relationship is for your well-being and spiritual growth.
God may have many reasons why He wants you to walk away from a relationship, such as the relationship is not according to God’s word. Other reasons can include your partner may not be marriage or parent material. Furthermore, this person could be taking you away from your path toward God or away from your loved ones. They may even be a distraction from the goals God has for your life, or you may not be growing in your faith.
Many other reasons could be the cause of God calling you to walk away from a relationship. For example, if your family or friends are warning you against your partner or they see the damage the partner has done to your psyche. Either way, God has many reasons to ask people to step out of a relationship. If you believe God is calling you to walk away from a relationship, then seek answers through prayer and community guidance.
1 Corinthians 15:33 (ESV) “Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
1 Corinthians 5:11 “But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.”
2 Timothy 2:22 “flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
Proverbs 1:15 “My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path.”
Exodus 23:2 “You shall not follow a crowd to do evil; nor shall you testify in a dispute so as to turn aside after many to pervert justice.”
Proverbs 13:20 (NASB) “One who walks with wise people will be wise, But a companion of fools will suffer harm.”
1 Peter 3:17 “For it is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.”
Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. 9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Trusting God in Heartbreak
Trusting God in the midst of a heartbreak often proves challenging but transformative if you continue the journey with faith. To do so, you will need to surrender your pain to God and trust that He cares for you deeply (Psalm 34:18). He wants to give you guidance and wisdom to learn from this heartbreak and continue your walk with Him.
Embrace the truth that God has a purpose in your pain, even if it’s difficult to see in the moment. Sometimes people come in and out of our lives to teach us an important lesson or to be there for us or vice versa for a specific time. Have faith that God knows this reason and will share it with you when you are ready to hear what He has to say. Sometimes the answer is as simple as we need to learn to lean on the Lord for all things (Psalm 55:22).
Trusting in God during heartbreak is a transformative journey of finding comfort, strength, and healing. Through casting our burdens on Him, finding strength in His promises, resting in His peace, seeking His healing touch, and restoring our identity in Christ, we can navigate the path of heartbreak with faith and hope. Remember that God’s love is unwavering, and He longs to bring restoration and wholeness to our broken hearts.
1 Peter 4:19 “So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.”
2 Corinthians 4:8-10 “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”
Psalm 55:22 “Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.”
Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”
Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Isaiah 43:18 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
Seek Christian Community When Dealing with Heartbreak
Dealing with heartbreak after a breakup can be overwhelmingly lonely. However, the Bible reminds us of the importance of seeking support and encouragement from our Christian community during difficult times. Seeking your Christian community during times of heartbreak acts as a powerful and transformative step toward healing and restoration. You discover comfort, strength, and hope by sharing burdens, receiving advice, praying together, and experiencing life’s ups and downs. Remember that God has designed us to be in community, and our Christian brothers and sisters are there to provide the love, support, and understanding needed during the journey of healing after a breakup.
Here are some verses about relying on your community to help you through troubling times:
Galatians 6:2 “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
1 Thessalonians 5:11 “Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
Romans 12:5 “so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.”
Proverbs 15:22 “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.”
Your Story is Not Over
You are more than just the relationship you are in; you are a child of God. After a breakup, you need to remember your story does not end here. Even though a breakup may be devastating, God can use this experience for your ultimate good and His glory.
First, you will need healing and restoration, which are possible through God’s love and grace. Psalm 147:3 assures us that He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Take the time to grieve and seek solace in God’s presence and listen to Him, as He is the ultimate healer who can mend your broken heart and restore your joy.
Remember, though, your identity and worth do not come from your relationship status when humans. When you decide to follow God, you become a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17), and no matter what you are – a mother, child, father, son, brother, sister – you will always be a child of God first and foremost. As a child of God, you deserve the beautiful life God has in store for you, which may mean you need a different partner in life.
Proverbs 16:9 teaches us that even though we may plan our course, it is the Lord who determines our steps. Trust in His wisdom and let Him direct your path. Believe in His faithfulness and know He has beautiful things in store for your life. A breakup may be a chapter in your life but not your entire story. Your story is still being written with God as the author, and He has incredible things in store for you.
Proverbs 16:9 “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
Proverbs 19:21 “Many plans are in a man’s heart, but the purpose of the LORD will prevail.”
Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.”
Psalm 139:16 (NLT) “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
Psalm 16:11 (ESV) “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Things to Learn From a Breakup
While breakups can be painful and challenging, they also provide opportunities for personal growth and reflection (Psalm 139:23-24). The Bible offers valuable insights and lessons that can be learned from the experience of a breakup. Ultimately, God has a mate chosen for you who will help you to follow God’s will. Look to go for directions to find this person and start your life together in a loving and committed relationship leading to marriage.
God’s plan was never for people to date but to marry. The Bible does not mention anything about dating or courting. When the Bible was written, dating did not look like it does now; instead, families arranged marriages. In many countries, family is still a big part of dating today, but in many others, single people are more on their own to find a partner.
Some single people do not try to find a partner because they think God will send them the right one, while others are always looking for someone because they are afraid they might miss him or her. There should be a balance, and we should remember that God is perfectly loving (Ephesians 3:18; 1 John 3:16–18) and perfectly in charge of every situation, wish, and need (Psalm 109:21; Romans 8:38–39).
God brings people together through our decisions, other people, and sometimes even technology. Proverbs 13:20 advises us to walk with the wise and become wise. Start by surrounding yourself with other Christians seeking to follow God, as then God will be able to light the path to the person He knows will work best with you.
Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Proverbs 24:16 “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity.”
What should Christians do After a Breakup?
Although breakups can be challenging, they also provide invaluable opportunities for growth and transformation. Through self-reflection and personal growth, forgiveness and letting go, trusting in God’s plan, creating healthy relationships, and embracing God’s love, you can navigate the aftermath of a breakup with wisdom and hope. Remember that God can use these experiences to shape us into stronger, wiser individuals and ultimately lead us toward a future filled with His blessings.
Focus on spending time seeking God (Matthew 6:33) and allowing Him to direct your path to a mate for life. Often when God takes someone out of your life, it’s for a purpose. Stop trying to fight the breakup, but instead, see what you can learn from it so you can move on to the right relationship. Then seek God’s comfort, counsel, and guidance.
Above all, guard your heart (Proverbs 4:23) because a relationship can lead to resentment. But these feelings do not come from a place of growth, and without growth, you cannot move on. Look for clarity from God and start navigating toward His will instead of yours. After a breakup, it is essential for Christians to surrender their pain, confusion, and future plans to God. Trusting in His wisdom and guidance can bring clarity, peace, and direction in navigating the journey ahead.
Finally, lean on your Christian community. Hebrews 10:24-25 emphasizes the importance of gathering with fellow believers for encouragement and support. After a breakup, it is essential for Christians to seek community with other believers who can offer love, guidance, and prayer. Surrounding ourselves with a supportive Christian community can provide comfort, accountability, and a safe space for healing.
Hebrews 10:24-25 “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, 25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Hebrews 12:2 “looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
In conclusion, as Christians navigate life after a breakup, it is important to lean on God’s guidance and seek healing through His comforting presence. God has a plan for your life, including a partner designed to help you and maintain your walk with God. Find support in a Christian community, as this is key to finding renewal and purpose. Remember that God is near to the brokenhearted and desires to bring healing and restoration. By embracing these principles, you can move forward with hope, knowing that God has a plan for your life beyond the pain of the breakup.