Bible verses about being a pushover
Are you a pushover? This is a really tough subject. I believe many believers struggle with being a pushover and believe it or not this is very dangerous. How do we draw the line between turning the other cheek and being a pushover? How do we draw the line with being more assertive and being mean?
In this article I will show how being a pushover can affect you in every area of your life. I pray that no one uses this article to justify sin, unbiblical practices, anger, rudeness, retaliation, meanness, unfriendliness, etc.
If you use this for anyone of these things you have missed the point of this article and you’re in sin.
We have to draw the line and use discernment. Christians are going to be abused in this world and sometimes we are going to have to take it like the disciples took it. But, there are times when we are to be bold, straightforward, and speak up.
Quotes
- “There’s a difference between being mean and standing up for yourself.”
- “Say what you feel, it’s not being rude, it’s being real.”
Turning the other cheek vs being a pushover.
Many people assume that turning the other cheek means that we are to allow others to abuse us. It doesn’t mean that if someone slaps you, you should let them slap your other cheek. When Jesus was struck He said, “hey why did you hit me?” Sadly, in this world if you allow someone to get away with something they will see it as a sign of weakness and they will continue to do it.
This is terrible for people like Christians who hate confrontation. Understand what I am saying. There are times when we should overlook something, but there are also times when we are to be assertive. I believe sometimes we have to be bold and stand up in a godly manner of course. Many people assume that being assertive means you have to be hostile, which is not true.
Sometimes at work, at school, or maybe even sometimes at home we have to boldly tell people how we feel. When we laugh things off and pretend that things don’t hurt us that gives people an open door to continue. Once again there are times when we shouldn’t take things so seriously, but if someone starts to go overboard and turn into a bully we have to boldly tell them to stop it and stand up for ourselves.
1. Matthew 5:39 But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.
2. John 18:22-23 When he had said these things, one of the officers standing by struck Jesus with his hand, saying, “Is that how you answer the high priest?” Jesus answered him, “If what I said is wrong, bear witness about the wrong; but if what I said is right, why do you strike me?”
When you continue to allow people to do things to you without saying a word you will become a ticking time bomb.
You will harbor malicious thoughts. We have all turned on the news and heard about a kid who was being bullied at school and ended up snapping and shooting up the school. This is what could happen when you are a pushover for a long period of time. I personally know what happens when we don’t kindly and respectfully express ourselves to our transgressors. You become a transgressor yourself.
I remember one time at an old job a co-worker was purposely making fun of me. He was purposely annoying me. For a long time I didn’t say anything. After all, I’m Christian. This is an opportunity to become more like my Savior. As time went on I began to hold ungodly thoughts towards him and I sought to avoid him. It’s hard to avoid somebody you work with. One day he started to annoy me and make fun of me again.
I became enraged and I turned to him and let’s just say I said a few things that I should have never said and I confronted him in a way I should have never confronted him. I walked away and I took the smirk off of his face with me. Five seconds later I felt such a strong conviction. I was so burdened by my actions. Not only did I sin against him, but more importantly I sinned against God and as a Christian what testimony is that to others?
I quickly repented and I saw him again 30 minutes later and I apologized and made peace. I told him how his actions and words affected me. After that day, we became good friends and he never disrespected me again. If I would have been straightforward and boldly, respectably, gently, and seriously told him how I felt the first time then it would not have led to me spewing ungodly speech. It’s good to express yourself. We need to let people know how we feel, but remember there is a way that we shouldn’t do it and there is a way that we should.
3. Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
4. Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
5. Matthew 18:15 If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.
When you are a pushover you will end up going with the flow instead of speaking up.
The first verse shows that it is common for someone to speak up for themselves. Being a pushover doesn’t stop only in the workplace or at school. Many times even in Christian marriages there are pushover spouses. Some men are being led by their wife in marriage, which is wrong and they have no input on anything.
I want to be careful not to make anyone think that if they are being a pushover in marriage it is time to say no to everything, nag, and do more ungodly things. No! I am not advocating sin and I am not advocating worldliness. What I am saying is there’s nothing wrong with throwing out your ideas. There is nothing wrong with saying, “no let’s pray about it first.”
If you’re always going with the flow you are going to be known as the yes guy. People are going to come to you because they know you’re going to say yes. When you don’t speak up you can be left doing something that you don’t want to do. When you’re a pushover people are going to do what they want to do regardless of what you think because you don’t speak up. Don’t settle for things you don’t want just because you are afraid of saying, “no.” One time I bought a new bumper for my car because my old one was cracked.
I knew I could fix the bumper, but I was persuaded to buy a new bumper. I should have said, “no I don’t want the bumper.” I was a pushover in that situation and I bought the bumper just to find out that I could have fixed the cracked bumper for cheaper. By God’s grace I was able to return the item, but that taught me a lesson. Being a pushover can cost you money especially when people try to rip you off, give you a bad price, or up the price. Don’t let anyone push you into paying a price you don’t want to pay. Speak up. Tell others how you really feel. Talk it out. I believe being confident in the Lord and trusting in Him rather than trusting the situation or people will help with being more vocal.
If someone who doesn’t speak up for themselves tries to buy a house or car they will get the worst price possible because they will be too afraid to negotiate. In the business world it is hard for a pushover to move up. Say what you need to say. There is a saying “closed mouths don’t get fed.” If you want something speak up. Don’t be afraid. It never hurts to ask.
6. Proverbs 31:8 Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute.
7. Acts 18:9 And the Lord said to Paul in the night by a vision, “Do not be afraid any longer, but go on speaking and do not be silent.”
8. 1 Corinthians 16:13 Be alert, stand firm in the faith, act like a man, be strong.
9. Galatians 5:1 For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.
Being a pushover is dangerous.
So far we have seen that being a pushover can hurt your marriage, it can affect you in your workplace, it can lead to sin, it can hurt your finances, it can hurt your relationship with others, it can hurt you, etc. It can even affect your kids. There are many parents that allow their kids to do anything and they have no control over their kids because they are pushovers.
Their kids can end up growing up to be wicked. Sadly, pushovers don’t get respect. When we were in high school there were some classrooms that we would talk in. There were other classrooms that we wouldn’t dare talk in because we knew that teacher didn’t play that. That teacher was more assertive.
10. Proverbs 29:25 The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.
We have to use discernment.
It’s a good thing to stop being a pushover. We have to pray for discernment for different situations. There is a way of going overboard and many try to change in a bad way. If you’re kind and love helping others don’t stop helping others. Don’t try to change your personality. Don’t become rude. Don’t insult someone back. Don’t start yelling. Don’t become arrogant. Discernment is essential. Sometimes the best thing to do is to be quiet.
Even Paul sacrificed and gave up his rights for the sake of the gospel. God uses different situations to work in us and work through us. Then, there are other times when we have to kindly and boldly speak up. What I like to do now is examine every situation thoroughly. I pray for wisdom and I allow the Holy Spirit to lead me. God is helping me to get better at this so every situation I use it as an opportunity to grow. It’s easier for me to say no now. It’s easier for me to say if I don’t like something. Even if people persist with something I stand firm.
There are times when God just says to let it go and give that anger to Him. Allow Him to move. We have to be careful become many times we want to speak up out of anger and pride. If we try to be assertive in a way that is unbiblical it will backfire. For example, trying not to be a pushover with your kids in the wrong way can provoke them to anger.
Another example, is me asserting myself in an ungodly manner. You don’t want to turn into someone who is unreliable, mean, or aggressive. What you need is to be able to boldly stand firm. You need to be able to draw the line. Every situation is different. Pray for discernment.
11. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven: a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to avoid embracing; a time to search and a time to count as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace.
12. 1 Thessalonians 5:21–22 But examine everything carefully; hold fast to that which is good; abstain from every form of evil.
How can we do God’s will if we are not assertive?
When you’re not assertive you will start to compromise with sin. There are many people who fall into sin because they let pushoveritis take over and they go along with an ungodly activity. Most church leaders allow their congregation to live in rebellion. They allow devils in the pulpits.
They compromise with the world. They compromise with Catholics, Mormons, Jehovah Witnesses, homosexuals, prosperity preachers, Unitarians, etc. and say, “they are Christians. It’s all about love.” No!
We have to stand up for the truth. Jesus was assertive. He was no pushover to the truth. Paul was assertive. Stephen was assertive. Sincerely, boldly, and respectfully speak up. Go out and preach the gospel.
13. 2 Corinthians 11:20-21 You put up with it when someone enslaves you, takes everything you have, takes advantage of you, takes control of everything, and slaps you in the face.
14. John 2:15-16 And making a whip of cords, he drove them all out of the temple, with the sheep and oxen. And he poured out the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables. And he told those who sold the pigeons, “Take these things away; do not make my Father’s house a house of trade.”
15. Matthew 16:23 Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.”
Thanks for this. It helped me a lot. This is very well elaborated. Keep it up and God bless you who shared this.
I really appreciate this writing. It really shed me some light to my questions. God carries you and your ministry in His grace!
This is just what I needed. I was verbally assaulted on the bus today. The words that came out of the perpetrator’s mouth are unrepeatable. I stood up for myself and ended up with more abuse from the same person. Finally he got off the bus. After I got off at my stop I reported it to the police and the bus company. I am verbally assaulted most days of the week from the person I care for. I am a Christian and I know that Jesus loves me but I’ve had some misunderstanding about this issue. Thank you for explaining it well. God Bless you.