What does the Bible about dating and relationships?
Try to find anything about dating in the Bible, you will not find anything. Nor will you find anything about courtship, but we do have biblical principles to help you when seeking a Christian relationship.
Christian quotes about dating
“Relationships should draw you closer to Christ, not closer to sin. Don’t compromise to keep anyone, God is more important.”
“Your heart is precious to God so guard it, and wait for the man who will treasure it.”
“Dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn’t yours.” —Jefferson Bethke
“If God is going to write your loves story, He’s going to first need your pen.”
“You can’t save them by dating them. Let God change their heart before you try to start a relationship with them.”
“A passion for God is the most attractive feature a man can possess.”
“The best love stories are those written by the author of love.”
“Broken things can become blessed things, if you let God do the mending.”
“She has his heart and he has her heart, but their hearts belong to Jesus.”
“A God centered relationship is worth the wait.”
“Imagine a man so focused on God that the only reason he looked up to see you is because he heard God say, “that’s her.”
“A real man opens more than your doors. He opens his Bible.”
“The closer a man and woman are to God, the closer they are to each other.”
“Dating tip: Run as fast as you can towards God. If someone keeps up, introduce yourself.”
“Love says: I’ve seen the ugly parts of you, and I’m staying.” — Matt Chandler
“I want a relationship where people look at us and say, you can tell God put them together.”
“You don’t fall into love, you commit to it. Love is saying I will be there no matter what.” Timothy Keller
“The goal of Christian dating is not to have a boyfriend or girlfriend but to find a spouse. Have that in mind as you get to know one an- other, and if you’re not ready to commit to a relationship with the end goal of marriage, it’s better not to date but simply to remain friends.”
“Ladies, look toward the man who: shows you respect, makes you feel safe, and demonstrates his faith in God.”
“You deserve a man after God’s own heart, not just a boy who goes to church. Someone who is intentional about pursuing you, not just looking for someone to date. A man who will love you not just for your looks, your body, or how much money you make, but because of who you are in Christ. He should see your inward beauty. You may have to tell a few guys NO A FEW TIMES in order for the real man to step forward, but it will be worth it. Keep praying and trusting the Lord. It will happen in His timing.”
“Don’t ask for more signs when the truth is clear to you. God doesn’t need to send you more ‘proof’ for you to ignore, believe Him when He shows you the type of person you are dealing with. You may love and care abouth them, but not everything we want is beneficial to our lives.”
“The greatest thing a man can do for a woman is lead her closer to GOD than to himself.”
“You deserve more than just a taste of a relationship. You deserve to experience the whole thing. Trust God and wait for it.”
Dating and marriage
You really can’t talk about a relationship with the opposite sex without talking about marriage because the whole point of a relationship is to get to marriage.
Marriage shows the relationship between Christ and the church. It shows how Christ loved the church and laid down His life for her. Who’s the church? Unbelievers are not part of the church. God wants His children to marry Christians. Marriage is probably the greatest tool in the sanctification process of a believer’s life. Two sinful people are united into one and they commit to each other in everything. No one besides the Lord will come before the person you are going to marry. The world teaches that you are supposed to put your kids and your parents before your spouse. No! No one comes before your spouse! You have to say no to everyone else when it comes to your spouse.
1. Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.”
2. Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
3. Ephesians 5:33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
We have to watch out for these emotions while dating.
We are so quick to say I believe the Lord has given me this person. Are you sure? Have you consulted the Lord? Do you listen to His conviction or do you do what you want to do? If the person is not Christian, then the Lord didn’t give you that person. If you seek to enter into a relationship with an unbeliever not only is it wrong, you will regret it, and you will be hurt. If the person claims to be Christian, but lives like an unbeliever God didn’t send you that person. God would never send you a fake Christian. No type of ungodly person can do God’s will in marriage. “But he’s nice.” So!
4. 2 Corinthians 6:14–15 “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?”
5. 1 Corinthians 5:11 “But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.”
If anyone is thinking about dating, did you talk to God first?
If you haven’t consulted God about it that means that you haven’t asked Him if the person you have met is the person He wants you to marry. Christian dating does not consist of casual dating, which is unbiblical. This type of dating will leave you broken and all over the place and I’m not even talking about sex. Non believers date for fun, for the moment, for a good time, for sex, to not be lonely, to impress people, etc.
If you don’t think that you are going to marry this person and if you don’t feel like God has possibly brought this person into your life for marriage, then stop wasting each other’s time. A relationship is not something to take lightly. Casual dating is a form of lust. It doesn’t always have to be sexual. Lust is always selfish. It is always about I. Lust never seeks the Lord for His will.
Many people think they are in love for reasons such as the person’s looks, communication skills, etc. No, did God send you the person? Do you believe God has called you to commit your life to this person in marriage? Falling in love is not in the Bible. True love is built on actions, choices, etc. It proves itself over time.
Many people get into relationships and when they break up they find out that they were not really in love. There are so many things in this world that help you deceive yourself. For example, sex, physical attraction, looking at other couples, constantly listening to love music, fear, constantly watching love movies, etc.
6. 1 John 2:16 “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.”
7. Galatians 5:16 “But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.”
8. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Why should we seek a relationship according to the Bible?
For God’s glory and to carry out His will. To be conformed into the image of Christ. To marry and be a representation of Christ and the church. The advancement of God’s Kingdom. It’s all about Him. “Oh Lord may this relationship honor your name” and this should be our mindset going into marriage. “Oh Lord I want to love and lay down my life for someone just like you loved and laid down your life for me.”
9. 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”
10. Romans 8:28-29 “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”
11. Revelation 21:9 “Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven final plagues came and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb!”
I am not saying that you can’t enter into a relationship, but take this into consideration.
Are you able to leave your mother and father? Do you have any responsibilities or are your parents paying for everything? For men this is one of the things that tells you if you’re ready to seek your wife. Are you able to live on your own and provide? Are you a man? Does society consider you a man?
12. Matthew 19:5 “and said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?”
1 Peter 3:7 show how God feels about His daughter.
God loves His daughter. It is always scary meeting a woman’s father. That’s his precious little daughter that you want to take out. She is always going to be his precious little baby in his eyes. The love between a father and his daughter is so great. He will die for his daughter. He will kill for his daughter. Now Imagine how much greater is the love of a holy God. Imagine His seriousness if you lead His daughter down the wrong path. It’s a scary thing. Don’t play with God’s daughter. When it comes to His daughter God does not play. Listen to her, respect her, and always keep her into consideration. She’s not a man.
13. 1 Peter 3:7 “In a similar way, you husbands must live with your wives in an understanding manner, as with a most delicate partner. Honor them as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing may interfere with your prayers.”
14. Genesis 31:50 “If you mistreat my daughters or if you take any wives besides my daughters, even though no one is with us, remember that God is a witness between you and me.”
Dating and kissing
Is kissing a sin? Is there kissing in the Bible that applies to dating? No. Can Christians kiss? Maybe, but let me explain. I don’t believe kissing is sinful, but I believe it can be. A passionate/romantic kiss is sinful. Anything that leads you to indulge in sexual thoughts is sinful.
If you feel the temptation just stop don’t lie to yourself. It is a good idea when Christians don’t kiss before marriage because when you kiss there is no going back you can only go a step farther. Some Christians choose not to start kissing before marriage and some Christians choose to hug and kiss lightly. What is going on in your heart? What is your mind saying? What is your purpose?
Kissing for a long period of time with someone who you are not married to is wrong, it is a form of foreplay, and it will cause you to fall. Think about this. Waiting and disciplining yourself in many areas will make your sexual relationship in marriage more unique, special, godly, and intimate. Never compromise! This is something that you should really pray about and listen to the Lord.
15. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 “For this is God’s will, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality, so that each of you knows how to control his own body in sanctification and honor, not with lustful desires, like the Gentiles who don’t know God.”
16. Matthew 5:27-28 “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
Godly dating: Flee from youthful lust
Never be alone in a room with your boyfriend/girlfriend for a long period of time or you will fall. In some type of way you will fall. I’ve heard some guys say, “I can handle it I’m strong enough.” No you’re not! The desires for the opposite sex are so strong that we are told to run. We are not given power to endure it. God doesn’t want us to endure the temptation. Don’t try to fight through it, just run. You are not strong enough. Stay away!
Don’t put yourself in a position to compromise and sin. Don’t do it! The world teaches you to have sex before marriage. When you hear about Christians living in sexual sin they are false converts and not truly saved. Seek purity. If you have gone too far repent. Confess your sins to the Lord, don’t go back, flee!
17. 2 Timothy 2:22 “Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
18. 1 Corinthians 6:18 “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
In relationships you are to lead each other to Christ.
You are to chase Christ together. If you get into a relationship with an ungodly person they will slow you down. Run to Christ and whoever is keeping up with you introduce yourself. Not only are you to lead each other by the way you live your life, but you have to worship together.
In a relationship you both are going to learn from each other, but the woman takes the submissive role and the man takes the leadership role. If you’re going to be a leader you have to know the Scriptures to teach God’s daughter.
19. Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Don’t be led into marriage by a girl’s sensuality. You will regret it. Don’t be led into marriage by a man’s looks. You will regret it.
Are you pursuing them for godly reasons? I am not saying that you should not be attracted to the person who you are dating because you should be. It’s not good to seek a relationship with someone you are not physically attracted to.
If God blesses you with a very beautiful godly woman or handsome man that is OK, but looks are not everything. If you are looking for a supermodel you must know that extreme pickiness is not good and also there is a strong chance that you are not a supermodel. No one is if you remove all the editing and makeup.
Sometimes the woman is Christian, but she is unsubmissive and contentious. Sometimes the guy is Christian, but he is not a hard worker, he can’t manage his money, he is too immature, etc.
20. Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
21. Proverbs 11:22 “A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.”
What to look for in a godly man?
Take this into consideration. Is he a man? Is he growing into a man? Does he want to be a leader? Look for godliness because a husband is to one day be your spiritual leader. Look for his love for the Lord and the advancement of His kingdom. Is he seeking to bring you towards Christ? Does he work hard?
Does he have godly and respectable goals? Can he handle money well? Is he generous? Is he living in godliness and seeking to obey the Word? Is God working in his life and making him more like Christ? Does he have a strong prayer life? Does he pray for you? Is he honest? Does he seek to take your purity? How does he treat others? Is he violent?
22. Titus 1:6-9 “one who is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of wildness or rebellion. For an overseer, as God’s administrator, must be blameless, not arrogant, not hot-tempered, not addicted to wine, not a bully, not greedy for money, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, righteous, holy, self-controlled, holding to the faithful message as taught, so that he will be able both to encourage with sound teaching and to refute those who contradict it.”
23. Psalm 119:9-11 “How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”
What to look for in a godly woman?
Take this into consideration. Has she surrendered her life to the Lord? Does she allow you to lead? Is she submissive? Does she seek to build you up and help you with what God has for you? Does she constantly nag and belittle you? Is she clean? Is her house and car always messy? That is going to be your house.
Is she pressuring you to have sex with her? Does she dress sensually, run if she does. Does she respect her father? Is she seeking to be a virtuous woman? Is she contentious? Is she lazy? Can she run a household? Does she fear God? Is she a prayer warrior? Is she trustworthy?
24. Titus 2:3-5 “Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good. In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited.”
25. Proverbs 31:11-27 “The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will not lack anything good. She rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with willing hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from far away. She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and portions for her female servants. She evaluates a field and buys it; she plants a vineyard with her earnings. She draws on her strength and reveals that her arms are strong. She sees that her profits are good, and her lamp never goes out at night. She extends her hands to the spinning staff, and her hands hold the spindle. Her hands reach out to the poor, and she extends her hands to the needy. She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all in her household are doubly clothed. She makes her own bed coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known at the city gates, where he sits among the elders of the land. She makes and sells linen garments; she delivers belts to the merchants. Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.”
I’m not saying that the person is going to be perfect.
There might be some areas where you have to talk to them or God has to change about them, but once again the person should be godly. Don’t be unrealistic and be careful with expectations when it comes to marriage. Things might not always be how you expect them to be.
Your spouse might have as many problems as you, but remember God will give you the spouse that you desire of course, but also the spouse that you need to conform you into the image of Christ.
26. Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”
The reason for Christian breakups.
Some of you are in a relationship with the person that God wants you to marry and you will eventually marry. Sometimes Christians get into relationships with Christians and it just doesn’t work out. I know it hurts, but God uses this situation to work in a believers life to conform them into the image of His Son and build their faith. God will replace the person He has taken away with someone better. Trust in Him.
27. Proverbs 19:21 “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand.”
28. Isaiah 43:18-19 “Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
When will God give me a spouse?
God has someone already created for you. God will provide that person.
Prepare yourself to get married. Pray that God helps you prepare. There is too much temptation today. Seek to get married at a young age. I am not saying be passive, but the Lord will bring that person to you. You don’t need to seek online dating websites. God will help you meet the person who is meant for you.
Make sure that you start your search with prayer. Don’t be afraid because even if you are a really shy person the Lord will open a door for you. While you are praying for someone, someone is always praying for you.
What you must not do is become bitter and say, “everyone around me is in a relationship why am I not?” Sometimes we are not ready financially, spirituality, in maturity, or it’s just not God’s will yet. You must keep your eyes on Christ and pray for His peace and comfort when you are single because you will kill yourself if you are constantly thinking about it.
You will start saying, “maybe I’m too this, maybe I’m too that, maybe I need to start looking like this, maybe I need to buy that.” That is idolatry and of the devil. You are perfectly made. Trust in the Lord that He will provide.
Sometimes God uses singleness to drive you in prayer. He wants you to keep on knocking and one day He is going to say, “enough, you want it? Here! There she is, there he is. I have sovereignly given you this person. I made her/him for you. Now take care of him and lay down your life for her.”
29. Genesis 2:18 “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is right for him.”
30. Proverbs 19:14 “House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.”
Guard each other’s heart in your relationship
We don’t talk much about guarding each other’s heart, but this extremely important. We always hear people say, “guard her heart.” This is true, and we should be careful on how we guard a woman’s delicate heart. However, a woman should be careful to guard a man’s heart as well. Also, be careful and guard your own heart. What do I mean by all this?
Don’t get someone emotionally invested if you are not willing to commit. Christian men and women are guilty of playing around with the opposite sex until they feel that they are ready to get into a relationship with that person. This goes especially for men. It is damaging to show interest in a woman, pursue her for a while, and then pull back. If she grows feelings for you she is going to be hurt if you decide that you never really liked her. Never entertain a relationship just to have something in the meantime.
If you are interested in a woman, then pray diligently before you pursue her. When we do this, we put other’s before ourselves. Not only is this biblical, but it also shows signs of maturity.
The last thing that I want to talk about is guarding your own heart. Stop falling in love with everyone that you see. When you fail at guarding your heart, you start thinking “maybe she’s the one” or “maybe he’s the one.” Everyone that you see and meet becomes the potential “one.” This is dangerous because it can easily create pain and hurt if it doesn’t work out. Instead of following your heart, you should follow the Lord. Our hearts can easily deceive us. Seek His wisdom, seek guidance, seek clarity, and above all seek His will.
Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
God gave Issac a wife: Read the whole chapter of Genesis 24.
Genesis 24:67 “Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”