What does the Bible say about marriage?
Marriage unites two sinners into one. Without looking at the gospel you will not understand biblical marriage. The main purpose of marriage is to glorify God and to be a representation of how Christ loves the church.
In marriage you are not only committing to each other in companionship, you are committing to each other in everything. Nothing comes before your spouse.
Obviously God is the center piece of your marriage, but nothing besides the Lord is more important than your spouse. Not the kids, not church, not spreading the gospel, nothing!
If you had one rope and you had to choose between your spouse or everything else in the world hanging off a cliff, you choose your spouse.
Quotes about Christian marriage
“A good marriage must have its foundation in Jesus Christ in order to experience lasting love peace and joy.”
“I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable.”
– G.K. Chesterton
“A man who will lead you to God and not to sin, is always worth the wait.”
“If he doesn’t fall on his knees in prayer he doesn’t deserve to fall on one knee with a ring. A man without God is one I can live without.”
“Love is friendship set on fire.”
“Men, you’ll never be a good groom to your wife unless you’re first a good bride to Jesus.” Tim Keller
“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times always with the same person.”
Is marriage in the Bible?
Adam was not complete by himself. He needed a helper. We were made to have a relationship.
1. Genesis 2:18 “The LORD God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
2. Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”
3. 1 Corinthians 11:8-9 “For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”
Christ and the church marriage
Marriage shows the relationship between Christ and the church and it is put on display in front of the whole world. It is to show how Christ loves the church and how the church is to be devoted to Him.
4. Ephesians 5:25-27 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless.”
5. Revelation 21:2 “And I saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven like a bride beautifully dressed for her husband.”
6. Revelation 21:9 “Then one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven final plagues came and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the bride, the wife of the Lamb!”
The Lord’s heart beats faster for His bride.
In the same way our heart beats faster for our bride. One glance at the love of our life and they have us hooked.
7. Song of Solomon 4:9 “You have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride; You have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes, With a single strand of your necklace.”
What does it mean to be one flesh in a marriage?
Sex is a powerful thing that is only to be in marriage. When you have sex with someone a piece of you is always with that person. When two Christians become one flesh in sex there is something spiritual that happens.
Jesus tells us what marriage is. It is between one man and one woman and they are to be one flesh sexually, spiritually, emotionally, financially, in ownership, when making decisions, in one goal to serve the Lord, in one home, etc. God joins a husband and a wife in one flesh and nothing shall separate what God has joined together.
8. Genesis 2:24 “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”
9. Matthew 19:4-6 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
10. Amos 3:3 “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”
Sanctification in marriage
Marriage is the greatest tool of sanctification. God uses marriage to conform us into the image of Christ. Marriage brings out fruit. It brings out unconditional love, patience, mercy, grace, faithfulness, and more.
We thank the Lord and pray for things like mercy, but we don’t want to give mercy to our spouse. We praise the Lord for His grace, but as soon as our spouse does something wrong we stop wanting to pour out undeserved favor like God has done with us. Marriage changes us and makes us more thankful to the Lord. It helps us understand Him better.
As men, marriage helps us understand our wife better. It helps us learn how to compliment them, be more verbal, give them our undivided attention, help them, romance, and spend quality time with them. Marriage helps women to get better at running a household, helping their spouse, caring for a man, caring for kids, etc.
11. Romans 8:28-29 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.”
12. Philippians 2:13 “for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.”
13. 1 Thessalonians 5:23 “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
God hates divorce
This one flesh union that God created in marriage will not end until death. You can’t break something that the Almighty God has created for $200. It is serious and it is sacred. We forget that we agreed in the wedding vows for better or for worse. God can fix any marriage even in the worst situations. We are not to automatically seek divorce. If Jesus didn’t abandon His bride in the worst situations we are not to divorce our spouse.
14. Malachi 2:16 “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”
The husband is the spiritual leader.
As a Christian husband you must realize that God has given you a woman. He has not given you just any woman, He has given you His daughter that He loves so much. You are to lay down your life for her. This is not something to take lightly. If you lead her astray you will be held responsible. God does not play about His daughter. The husband is the spiritual leader and your wife is your greatest ministry. When you stand before the Lord you will say, “look Lord what I did with what you gave me.”
15. 1 Corinthians 11:3 “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
A virtuous wife is hard to find.
As Christian wives you must understand that God has given you a man who He loves and cares for. Women are extremely powerful. In the Bible women have been such a huge blessing to their husband and also some have been a huge curse to their husband. You are going to be key in building him up in faith and helping him carry out his role in marriage. You were created for him and from him.
16. Proverbs 12:4 “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.”
17. Proverbs 14:1 “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
18. Titus 2:4-5 “Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Out of your love for Jesus wives must submit to their husband. It does not mean that you are inferior in any way. Jesus submitted to the will of His Father and He is not less than His Father, remember they are one. Remember that even we submit to the government and to each other.
Many women hear that the Bible says to submit to their husbands and think that God wants me to be a slave. That is not fair. They forget that the Bible tells men to lay down their lives. There are also many people that use Scripture to manipulate their spouse, which is wrong.
Women are a huge part of decision making in the household. She helps her husband in making wise decisions and a godly husband will be considerate and listen to his wife. Many times your wife might be right, but if she is she shouldn’t try to rub it in your face.
In the same way if we are right we shouldn’t try to rub it in our wife’s face. As men we are the leaders so in rare occasions when the deadline is near and there is no decision we have to make the decision and a godly wife will submit. Submission shows strength, love, and humility.
19. 1 Peter 3:1 “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.”
20. Ephesians 5:21-24 “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Love your wife
We are not to be harsh, provoke, or mistreat our wives. We are to love them as we love our own bodies. Would you ever harm your body?
21. Ephesians 5:28 “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.”
22. Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
23. 1 Peter 3:7 “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”
Respect your husband
Wives are to respect their husband. They are not to nag, belittle, insult them, gossip about them, or bring shame to them by the way they live.
24. Ephesians 5:33 “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Christian marriages are to reflect God’s image.
25. Genesis 1:27 “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”
God uses marriage for reproduction.
26. Genesis 1:28 “God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply! Fill the earth and subdue it! Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and every creature that moves on the ground.”
Christians wait until marriage. Marriage is to fulfill our sexual needs. In fact, it is better to marry than to burn with lust.
27. 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 “Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
28. 1 Corinthians 7:9 “But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
When will God give me a spouse?
Many people ask me how do I know that she/he is the one and how can I find the one that God intended me to be with? Sometimes you just know. It will never be an unbeliever or someone who professes to be a Christian, but lives in rebellion.
The person that God wants for you will bring you closer to the Lord than themselves. You will see biblical traits in them. You have to examine their lives because that is the person you are going to be with until death. You need someone who is going to run the Christian race and keep up with you. Many people are worried because it’s hard to find Christian guys and Christian women, but don’t worry.
God will bring her/ him to you. Don’t be afraid because even if you are a shy person God will make a way to help you meet the right person. If you think that you have found the one keep praying and God will tell you in prayer. If you are searching for a spouse keep praying that God sends someone your way. While you are praying for someone, someone is also praying for you. Trust in the Lord.
29. Proverbs 31:10 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.”
30. 2 Corinthians 6:14 “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”