“It’s just not fair, this has got to be a joke.. right? I mean, I’m Christian, I thought this would never happen to us.”
Have you ever thought this? I have.
I just couldn’t understand why my husband, a good man, a Christian man, a Christian family man would get diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Wasn’t God real? Didn’t He protect His children? Then why? Why, was my husband diagnosed with such a debilitating disease without cure?
I must admit I’m ashamed to share this but as a professing Christian, my faith flew out the window the moment we were given this diagnosis. All the amens, the yes Lords, and God is goods went right out with my faith. I was so confused how this was actually happening to someone so nice, so, “Christian”.
Looking back at that moment I feel so foolish, but in that moment my unfaithfulness didn’t allow me to remember that God doesn’t choose who gets sick nor does He save people for being nice and He sure wasn’t the One who made him sick. This situation tested our faith and for a moment I failed. Our situation reminded me of Job and his unfaithful wife. Once the diagnoses had settled in and I had time to process it, my heart hurt and Scripture started to reclaim my mind and the Holy Spirit started convicting my heart.
James 1:2-4 “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”
I remembered this and my perspective changed, regardless of the diagnoses I had to be faithful in the good and the bad. As Christians, we have something greater than the diagnosis, I had just forgotten. Isn’t it easy to forget how much bigger God is than anything we may face on this earth?
Philippians 4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.” – (How do we know if God exists?)
Instead of allowing God to glorify Himself in this situation I took it upon myself to stress, to cry, and to blame. I am so happy that I read Scripture with friends because it was all coming back to me, refreshing my soul, reminding me that God had the last say in this, not me.
Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”
I started to realize how sinful I had been to think little of our great God. The Lord’s Word started to wash over my unfaithfulness. How easy is it to love God, trust God, believe in God, announce we know God, and to obey Him when life is well.
We smile and have no worry, but oh when trials come we are so quick to pull a Peter and deny God. We question His love for us and we forget that His timing is better than ours. We question His ability to heal. We forget that even if He doesn’t answer our prayers He is still in control in heaven, on His throne, in all His glory.
Romans 5:3-5 “More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
My pity party for one, was over and I got on my knees, closed my eyes, begged and cried on to the Lord’s feet and His grace was enough. It always is. There was such peace in my heart that I never knew I could have while facing such a hard situation. Every trial we face, has God’s grace printed on it, it is a testimony in progress and it’s an opportunity to grow in faith.
John 4:7 “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
That night my husband told me he knew God’s hand was in this and that he knew God would be faithful, even when we didn’t see it, even if it didn’t look like what we want it to look like. He told me that He loved the Lord no matter what the outcome and that he had faith. He reminded me that God is greater than the situation. God sees our hurt and pain so we should draw near to Him and not run away from Him.
God is good, all the time. Not just when we are wealthy, or when we are healthy but even more so when we are hurting. Seeking the Lord even more when things are not going well, what a gift because God’s word says, “He is close to the broken hearted.”
He was diagnosed in February of this year, it’s almost June and my husband is walking, talking, moving and glory to God he is in remission and we hold on to the promise that God will heal him. Nothing is impossible for Him!
Earlier this month of May, my mother was hospitalized and instead of throwing a fit, I knew what to do. I know that God is faithful and He can and will heal her at His time. We have to remember to be faithful in the hard times. Friends I can’t stress it enough, God is the same yesterday, today, and forever; regardless of your situation. Instead of saying:
“I trust God will heal him but _________.”
We have to say:
“This is a hard situation, but I sure am glad I have a bigger God.”
I thank God every day for my husband and his health because I know God is sustaining him every day, I learned to trust God, to trust that all things work out for our good. As of now I’m not sure what that “good” is but I just know it’s going to work out just fine.