What does the Bible say about narcissism?
Narcissism is one of those hot topics in culture that gets discussed regularly on podcasts, books, and in conversation. In fact, you can find extensive information on this topic from various sources, which can include some very insightful definitions, breakdowns on what narcissism can look like in relationships, and even hear real life stories of those who have been affected by narcissism. However, as helpful as these resources can be, have you ever paused to consider what the Bible has to say about narcissism? Have you taken the time to let God’s Word define and sculpt the way you address and understand the topic of narcissism?
God’s Word is not silent on the topic of narcissism. If you were to search through the Bible, you’d find that although the word, “narcissism,” can’t be found in Scripture, the concept or essence of what narcissism encompasses is most assuredly addressed in God’s Word. At it’s core, narcissism is comprised of things such as pride, selfishness, self-centeredness, lack of empathy, arrogance, manipulation, deception, and ultimately an inflated view of oneself that demands praise from others.
As we consider what the Bible has to say about narcissism, I’d encourage you to approach God’s Word humbly. Firstly, remember that you are not simply reading Bible verses for facts, but you are seeking the heart of God. So, take time to pause and ask the Holy Spirit to help you grasp God’s heart on this topic.
Secondly, take time to ask the Holy Spirit to convict your heart of any narcissistic fruit in your own life that needs to be surrendered and repented of. Now, at first that might seem harsh or surprising to hear, but consider this: Frequently, when discussing narcissism, I have found that most conversations surrounding narcissism involve an us versus them mentality, where people begin to demonize others and point the finger to label others as, “narcissistic,” while portraying themselves as innocent of narcissism. In doing so, this topic quickly becomes steeped in shame, fear, and self-righteousness if we are not careful. Now, there are absolutely instances of overt, ongoing, and egregious narcissism around us that must be identified and addressed, but Scripture commands us to first address our own sin before highlighting the sin of others (Matthew 7:3-5). As we approach God’s Word with humility, we might just find that there are seeds of narcissism in our own hearts that God wants to speak into first. So, invite God to search your heart right now and cleanse you from all sin (Psalm 139:23-24 & Psalm 51).
Lastly, take some time to consider how God’s word should change how you engage in conversations surrounding narcissism.
- What does the Bible say about God’s heart towards narcissists?
- What does the Bible say about setting boundaries with narcissists?
- In what ways does the Gospel change the way we should approach this topic?
Narcissism, in all of its forms, grieves God’s heart and it must be exposed for what it is, which is sin. Like all sin, narcissism wreaks havoc and destruction, and ultimately leads to death of all kinds, including trust, relationships, and most notably separation from God. Yet, for those who confess their sin, repent, and look to Jesus in faith there is the promise of forgiveness, new life, and freedom from sin in Christ.
Pride and Arrogance – The Bible has a great deal to say about pride and arrogance, which are common attributes of narcissists.
- Proverbs 16:18 (NIV)
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
- James 4:6 (ESV)
“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” - Proverbs 8:13 (NASB)
“The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; pride, arrogance, and the evil way and the perverted mouth, I hate.”
- Psalm 10:4 (NLT)
“The wicked are too proud to seek God. They seem to think that God is dead.” - Proverbs 21:4 (NKJV)
“A haughty look, a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked are sin.”
- Isaiah 2:11 (KJV)
“The lofty looks of man shall be humbled, and the haughtiness of men shall be bowed down, and the Lord alone shall be exalted in that day.”
- Proverbs 29:23 (HCSB)
“A person’s pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor.”
- 1 Samuel 2:3 (NIV)
“Do not keep talking so proudly or let your mouth speak such arrogance, for the Lord is a God who knows, and by him deeds are weighed.” - Daniel 4:37 (ESV)
“Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and extol and honor the King of heaven, for all his works are right and his ways are just; and those who walk in pride he is able to humble.”
- Proverbs 11:2 (NASB)
“When pride comes, then comes dishonor; but with the humble there is wisdom.”
Selfishness and Self-Centeredness – Narcissists are known for loving and prioritizing themselves over others sometimes at any cost, which directly opposes God’s word.
- Philippians 2:3 (NIV)
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”
- 2 Timothy 3:2 (ESV)
“For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy.”
- Romans 12:3 (NLT)
“Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.” - Galatians 5:26 (NKJV)
“Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.”
- Luke 9:23 (KJV)
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (HCSB)
“Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not conceited, does not act improperly, is not selfish, is not provoked, and does not keep a record of wrongs.”
- James 3:16 (NIV)
“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.”
- Romans 15:1-2 (ESV)
“We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.”
- Proverbs 18:1 (NASB)
“One who separates himself seeks his own desire; he quarrels against all sound wisdom.” - Matthew 22:39 (NLT)
“A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Lack of Empathy – Often times, narcissists are noted for having a lack of empathy towards others, which is the opposite of God’s own character and command on how his people ought to live.
- Romans 12:15 (NIV)
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
- Colossians 3:12 (ESV)
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” - 1 Peter 3:8 (NASB)
“To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, loving, compassionate, and humble.” - John 11:35 (NLT)
“Jesus wept.”
- Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)
“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” - Luke 10:33 (KJV)
“But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him.”
- Philippians 2:4 (HCSB)
“Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”
- Hebrews 4:15 (NIV)
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.”
- Proverbs 14:21 (ESV)
“Whoever despises his neighbor is a sinner, but blessed is he who is generous to the poor.”
- Matthew 9:36 (NASB)
“Seeing the crowds, He felt compassion for them, because they were distressed and downcast, like sheep without a shepherd.”
Boasting and Seeking Praise – Narcissists chase the praise of others over the praise of God.
- Matthew 6:1 (NIV)
“Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” - Galatians 6:14 (ESV)
“But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.”
- Jeremiah 9:23 (NASB)
“This is what the Lord says: ‘Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches.’” - Acts 12:23 (NLT)
“Instantly, an angel of the Lord struck Herod with a sickness, because he accepted the people’s worship instead of giving the glory to God.” - Proverbs 27:2 (NKJV)
“Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.”
- Luke 14:11 (KJV)
“For whosoever exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.”
- 1 Corinthians 1:31 (HCSB)
“So that, as it is written, ‘Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.’”
- Psalm 44:8 (NIV)
“In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.”
- Proverbs 25:14 (ESV)
“Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give.”
- 2 Corinthians 10:17 (NASB)
“But he who boasts is to boast in the Lord.”
Manipulation and Deceit – In their selfish pursuit of their own will, narcissists may attempt to manipulate and deceive others in order to get what they desire, which the Bible clearly identifies as evil.
- Proverbs 12:16 (NIV)
“Fools show their annoyance at once, but the prudent overlook an insult.”
- Ephesians 4:25 (ESV)
“Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”
- Proverbs 26:24-25 (NASB)
“He who hates disguises it with his lips, but he harbors deceit in his heart. When he speaks graciously, do not believe him, for there are seven abominations in his heart.”
- Psalm 55:21 (NLT)
“His words are as smooth as butter, but in his heart is war. His words are as soothing as lotion, but underneath are daggers!”
- Colossians 3:9 (NKJV)
“Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds.”
- Proverbs 6:16-17 (KJV)
“These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood.” - 2 Corinthians 11:13-14 (HCSB)
“For such people are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for Satan himself disguises himself as an angel of light.”
- Proverbs 10:18 (NIV)
“Whoever conceals hatred with lying lips and spreads slander is a fool.”
- Titus 1:16 (ESV)
“They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.”
- Psalm 36:3 (NASB)
“The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit; he has ceased to be wise and to do good.”
