Marriage is a wonderful adventure in where we are challenged to become more like Jesus Christ. We quickly realize, well I realized, that it can be challenging to become more like our Father in heaven when we are naturally wanting to do what we want, what benefits us, what we like.
Before we get to a place where marriage is beautiful, fun, and all God designed it to be, we need to understand that marriage isn’t a ball and chain like many people say.
I’ve found that when both the man and woman follow the role the good Lord has given us in His infinite wisdom, then marriage works. It works because God is wiser than us and knew what would work. When we try to change His order that’s when we run into a heap of trouble. When we don’t seek God’s design and characteristics that’s when marriage hurts.
I don’t want to discourage you so quickly for I must share with you that marriage is lovely, it’s fun, and it’s doable. This coming from a person who’s celebrating a decade with her husband and though the first few years were hard I must admit it was out of both of our selfishness that we made it hard. As the Holy Spirit convicted us, challenged us, and confronted us we learned:
6 ways to create peace in marriage
- Ask the Lord to soften your heart (not just your spouses) towards His word, His spirit’s convictions and towards your spouse. Ezekiel 36:26 And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.
- Forgive.. yes again, even if they are not sorry. This verse isn’t just for a friend, it’s for marriage too. Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
- Use your freedom to serve them and not just fulfill your desires. Go out of your way for them. Galatians 5:13 For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. Mark 10:45 For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”
- The past, is the past no need to bring it up. 2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come
- Treat them like you’d like to be treated. Philippians 2:3-4 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
- Pray for everything and at all times. Romans 8:26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Matthew 6:6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. Ephesians 6:18 Praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.
There are so many more things The Holy Spirit has taught us as husband and wife that has created peace in our marriage but we had to narrow it down to those that have made a tremendous difference in our decade of love.
I hope your hearts are open to these ideas we were once told to consider and we are so glad we did. Marriage is hard, but wonderful and we can do it in Jesus name!