Many unmarried Christian couples wonder is making out a sin? The answer to this question is yes and I will explain why, but first let’s find out is kissing a sin?
- “The desire of love is to give. The desire of lust is to get.”
- “Love is the great conqueror of lust.” C.S. Lewis
There are no commands that teach us that we can’t kiss.
Even though there are no commands against kissing that doesn’t mean that we should be kissing before marriage. Kissing is a great temptation that most Christian couples can’t handle. Once you start kissing you can only move forward and go deeper. It is a huge temptation and that is why it is a good thing when couples decide not to kiss before marriage.
The less you do now and the more you save for marriage the greater the blessing in marriage. Your sexual relationship in marriage will be more godly, intimate, special, and unique. Some Christians choose to kiss lightly before marriage, which is not sinful but let’s not start making up our own definition for light kissing. It is not French kissing.
Couples should respect each other’s purity. This is something serious. I’m not trying to be legalistic. I’m not trying to ruin the fun, but the smallest kiss can lead to something even bigger.
If you feel any temptations at all you should stop. If you have doubts about kissing before marriage you should stay away from it. Check to see what is your purpose and what is your mind saying? All couples should diligently pray about the topic of kissing and listen to God’s response.
Galatians 5:16 So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
James 4:17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
Romans 14:23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.
The problem with making out.
If you kiss for a long period of time with someone who is not your spouse that is a form of foreplay. It should not be done and it is not honoring the Lord. Most of the time making out happens in intimate settings and behind closed doors.
That is compromising and you are falling and you will fall even more. You are lusting after each other and causing each other to stumble. Your motives are not pure. Your heart is not pure. No one’s heart would be pure. Our heart would want more of what we are feeling and we would fulfill our sinful desires by going further and further into the process.
When I talk about falling it doesn’t have to be sex. Falling happens way before sex. Sexual immorality is so powerful we are not given ways to stand strong against the temptation. We are told one thing when it comes to sexual immorality. Run! Run! Don’t put yourself in a position to sin. Never be alone in a closed environment with the opposite sex for a long period of time. You will fall!
1 Corinthians 6:18 Run from sexual immorality! “Every sin a person can commit is outside the body.” On the contrary, the person who is sexually immoral sins against his own body.
Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.
2 Timothy 2:22 Now flee youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those calling on the Lord out of pure a heart.
Matthew 5:27-28 “You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery. But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Do all things for God’s glory.
There is no way that anyone can convince me that they are making out for God’s glory. How does that honor God? Can we honestly say that there are no impure motives in our hearts? Of course not. How is it glorifying God with your body?
How is it being set apart from the world? How is it reflecting your love for God? How is it reflecting your love for others by using their body for your pleasure? How is it being a godly example for other believers? Set your heart on glorifying God and then you will be able to discern what is right.
1 Corinthians 10:31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Luke 10:27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'”
1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
First, make sure that you are in a relationship with another Christian. Never enter into a relationship with an unbeliever.
Second, if the person you are dating is pressuring you to do more and make out you should not be in a relationship with them. If they can’t honor the Lord and if they can’t respect you then you must break up. Be with someone who will lead you to the Lord not to sin. This can really leave you broken in the end. God will send a godly person your way.
1 Corinthians 5:11 But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.
Proverbs 6:27-28 Can a man scoop a flame into his lap and not have his clothes catch on fire? Can he walk on hot coals and not blister his feet?
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.